Shame on Me
by Zane's Girl- Jo
Summary: She gave herself to him; blindly turned from the possibility that he had no feelings for her. She'd seen the looks he threw her best friend... & yet, in order to claim him, she let him take her to bed, in a feeble, childish attempt to get him to fall for her, when he already belonged to someone else... My take on the Zoe/Zane/Jo situation Stoned/Omega Girls.


******Shame on Me**

**R****if****iuto: N****on**** Miriena**

**Summary: She gave herself to him; blindly turned from the possibility that he had no feelings for her. She'd seen the looks he threw her best friend... and yet, in order to claim him, she let him take her to bed, in a feeble, childish attempt to get him to fall for her, when he already belonged to someone else... My take on the Zoe/Zane/Jo situation_ Stoned/Omega Girls_, and Zoe's emotional reason for treating Jo like the scum of the earth, and because the whole Zane/Zoe/Jo situation just pisses me off. **

**A/N: Warning: M for referenced sexual situations, some language. **

**A/N: Went back and rewatched all of Season 4, and I began to think, what if the whole Zane/Zoe/Jo situation went deeper somehow? Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me if Zoe had (or tried to) slept with Zane to subconsciously get back at Jo without knowing why or that she was trying to get back at her. I prefer the old timeline Zoe, she's the lesser of two evils- because she has Lucas; new timeline Zoe just seems like a slut. And yes, I know Jo's like majorly out of character, but I _really_ wanted her to stand up to Zoe in _Stoned_ and _Omega Girls_, and stake her claim on Zane, and she kind of... whimped out. (Okay, she's off the hook in _Stoned_ because she didn't _know_ about the Z/z situation; but she's not off the hook in _OG, _and neither are the writers for screwing up the Jo/Zane love in S4) So this is Jo, giving Zoe what she _rightfully_ deserves, in my opinion. **

_How had everything gone so wrong?_

She'd given all she had; she'd given in, tempted by an older man, let herself fall in love- only to be blindsided and hit over the head by the woman who was _supposed_ to be her best friend, her sister...

The person she was closest to, had turned around and stabbed her in the back. And now, she was sitting next to him on the bed in the infirmary, playing with his fingers and running those small, slender fingers of hers up the toned muscle of his arm, along his shoulder, gently caressing his cheek before moving around to dig into the thick raven hair that set his beautiful blue eyes sparkling. She waited, hoping, begging, pleading silently for him to look her way; instead, he leaned over, capturing the older woman's soft pink lips in his, in a kiss that spoke volumes as to what they were now. Tears began to gather and blur the image, and after a moment, she turned away, struggling to keep from crying and throwing a temper tantrum like the two-year-old she felt like at that moment.

Once she made it out to the parking lot, out to her car, she slammed the door and struggled to breathe. The tears flowed freely now, and she buried her face in her hands, before running her fingers through her hair. A moment passed, before she started the car and fled the garage, tires screeching.

It didn't make any _sense_. Jo and Zane had_ always_ hated each other- and now, suddenly, they were acting like a couple in love; like they'd been in love for months, decades, even. Like they had belonged to each other- only each other.

"It's not true. He belonged to me. That's why-" She stopped, sniffling. _That's why I slept with him._

Her dad would kill her if he ever found out the truth- that from the moment Zane had offered to help her with her physics homework, she'd decided that he was the one she was going to lose it to. She'd been a virgin way too long; besides, Zane was experienced, worldly, mature. He wasn't like the boys she went to school with. He was an adult, a man, who could make her feel like a woman-

And so, the first week back in Eureka, she'd asked him out to dinner. And by the incident last month with the concrete, she knew that she was ready to lose it, to make him hers, to put her claim on him...

But, even as she was planning on how to stake her claim, Jo had moved in and taken control, pushing her out of the way and leading him to her bed first. If what Vincent said was true, they'd been sneaking around ever since Zane burned Jo's house down back in April.

She glanced in the rearview mirror, taking in the sight of the mascara streaks on her cheeks and the tear tracks leading to her chin. She was a wreck, thanks to adulthood. Funny, how at one time, she was this virginal, innoncent little girl. _Once upon a time_...

But she'd grown up fast, had become old enough to make her own decisions. She wasn't a child anymore, she could date whoever she wanted, and she'd wanted to date Zane. And then, she'd taken it a step further. As she pulled up to the bunker, she took a deep breath before getting out of the car. Instead of going into the stairwell, she took a seat beside the door, forcing herself to get control of her emotions.

Memories from that night flashed in her mind, when she'd met him at his place, with a bottle of wine, a skimpy little black dress hiding the pretty little lingerie she wore. Nothing like the lingerie he bought for Jo all those years ago; all satin and lace, garter belts and silk stockings. She'd always been uncomfortable even_ looking_ at lingerie like that, but Jo-

Jo was a woman who was confident in her body, in what she wore, and even after she slipped on her powersuits, she hid his lingerie on her body; the softness of the lace decorating the soft swells of her small breasts, the belts holding the black silk stockings more for decoration than to hold them up; the satin caressing her body like a second skin. She had watched Jo try each piece on that long ago night, watched her slip them into her drawers, watched her stand in front of the mirror and examine the silhouette of her body against the various colors he'd gotten her- blue, dark green, purple, red, black, white, pink. She'd watched as Jo attached the garter belts, watched her slip the stockings on over her small feet, like a lingerie model during a commercial, all confidence and tousled beauty. Silently, secretly, she'd envied Jo her confidence and easy beauty; never wearing make up, always looking perfectly put together.

Yet, as she'd stood in Zane's doorway that night, she'd had none of the easy-going confidence Jo possessed, none of the fancy lingerie. She'd waltzed in, setting down the wine and wrapping her arms around his neck, giving him a big smile before kissing him. He'd pushed her away firmly.

That should have been her first clue.

But she'd persisted, pouring two glasses of wine; he'd promptly poured his glass down the sink, telling her that he didn't drink alcohol, putting a snag in her plans. She'd smiled softly, taking a sip and holding her glass out with a soft, "A sip won't hurt, Zane."

A moment had passed, before he'd taken a sip, and then gotten up, turning off the music he'd been listening to before she'd arrived. He'd glanced over his shoulder, blue eyes cautionary. He'd asked her what she wanted; she'd climbed to her feet and gone to the stereo, turning it back on. She'd set her glass down and run a hand down his arm. "You, Zane. I want you." And then she'd taken his face in her hands and kissed him. He'd started to push her away, but had then given in. As she'd pressed her body to his, she'd felt his hands begin to slowly rove over her body, and she'd been unable to hide the smile as she forced herself on him, forced him to give in to her.

She tilted her head back against the cold stone, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks._ You got what you wanted..._

He'd carried her to the bedroom, undressing her with a cautionary air that he didn't possess with Jo. He'd pulled away for a moment, but she only registered his soft laughing, not the fact that he'd thought immediately to use protection. She'd stared at him confused as to why he was laughing, and after a moment, he'd replied, "Children have no clue about lingerie. Only real women do." Her mind had briefly flashed to Jo and her at-home fashion show that long ago day, but she'd pushed it aside, prefering to taste his lips than his words.

That was her second clue.

It wasn't gentle by any standards.

She'd seen the afterschool specials, she knew that sex the first time was painful and messy- that sex in general was messy- but had hoped that this wouldn't be sex. A part of her had hoped that they'd be making love.

Silly girl, stupid girl, he made love with Jo. Not her.

She'd cried out, digging her nails into his back as he broke her, and as they began to find their rhythm, she'd hoped that as they reached their climax, he'd fall in love with her. He'd kissed her lips; she'd hoped, expected, waited for those three small words to escape his lips, but they never came. They never graced the air around them, and as they'd returned from their climax, he'd whispered the two little words that had broken her heart. "Oh, Jojo..."

_Jojo._

Her eyes had snapped open, but he'd only kissed her lips and pulled her to his chest. Sleep hadn't come easy for her, she'd disected and studied that one word until she couldn't see straight.

Her final clue had come and gone, lost on the wind, chilling her heart, yet she refused to listen.

Now, as she sat outside, she kicked herself for being so stupid. She gave herself to him that night; blindly turned from the possibility that he had no feelings for her. She'd seen the looks he threw her best friend, for years, had watched the tension build between them, but had ignored it. And yet, in order to claim him, she let him take her to bed, in a feeble, childish attempt to get him to fall for her, when...

When he already belonged to someone else.

She'd given in, had_ hoped_ that by sleeping with him, she could finally call him her boyfriend, but instead, all she'd gotten was a broken heart and the realization that he didn't belong to her. And as she buried her face in her hands now, outside SARAH, she began to realize that he had never belonged to her, no matter how much she wanted to think he did. He didn't. He belonged to Jo.

She blindly climbed to her feet, going back to the car and pulling away from the bunker. A stop at Cafe Diem would probably do her good, get her mind off Zane and Jo and her own idiocy. The drive seemed to calm her nerves, and as she pulled into a parking space and made her way to the cafe, she felt as though the incident in the infirmary hadn't happened, that Zane was hers, and Jo wasn't a problem-

"Hey Zoe. Your usual latte?"

But she didn't hear Vincent. Her eyes were glued to a sight in the corner.

Jo and Zane, sitting together in a booth, her curled into his side, his arm around her waist, his lips on hers, their fingers playing together on the table. Vincent's voice broke through her fog just as Jo's eyes snapped open, brown locked with hazel, and silently, they seemed to be screaming, _He belongs to me. He never belonged to you, no matter what you've done._

"Don't they look happy?" She slowly turned to face Vincent, mouth open in shock. He sighed in contentment, setting her latte on the counter. "What's wrong, Zoe?" She shook her head, taking a seat at the counter.

"N... nothing, Vincent. Thanks." The burly chef leaned against the counter.

"Oh, fantasizes dashed, huh?" He asked, glancing back at the pair. A moment passed before she followed his gaze.

"Yeah." She tried to swallow the cotton in her throat. "You could say that." He watched the happy couple for a few more minutes, before patting her hand and returning to work. She stared at the counter, struggling to ignore the feel of Jo's eyes boring into her back. She lost track of how long she sat there, but eventually, the feel of someone's hand on her back caused her to turn, and she found herself looking into Jo's dark eyes. The woman was curled into Zane's side, his arm snug around her waist, holding her to him. A true, genuine smile- a smile Zoe would never feel directed at her- was on his face, beaming down at Jo. And in the older woman's eyes, something glittered that Zoe couldn't quite recognize. A moment passed, before Zane whispered,

"I'll meet you at the car." Jo turned a million watt smile on the former felon; it was a smile Zoe had seen directed at her dad on more than one occasion; the kind of smile that could make men commit murder just so she'd direct it at them again. The kind of smile that caused men to do a double take, and made even stuffy old generals like Mansfield rush to do her bidding. It was the smug, self-centered, confident smile of a woman who had the world at her feet, who wrapped men around her finger with the bat of an eyelash, who wasn't afraid to kill to protect those she loved... even if it meant killing those she loved. Zoe watched as Zane captured Jo's lips in a kiss before pulling away and leaving.

Once he was gone, Jo turned her dark eyes to Zoe, and the younger woman seemed to shrink back in horror. She'd only ever seen that look once or twice before- always directed at Zane, now directed at her. It was the look of a woman on a mission, who was assessing and figuring out the best way to destroy the threat. Jo took a seat beside Zoe, leaning on the counter. She turned to watch the other patrons, and, without taking her eyes off the cafe, leaned close. "He's mine, you know. He's _always_ been mine." Her chocolate eyes slid to the side, catching Zoe's gaze.

She swallowed. "Good to know." She refused to make eye contact with Jo; maybe she'd go away if she didn't meet her gaze, she kept staring at the counter.

No dice.

She felt Jo's hand move along her back, until her arm rested over her shoulder; and after a moment, she felt Jo's warm breath caress her ear. Slowly, she turned, meeting the former deputy's eyes. "He told me, you know. About the night you tried to seduce him. About the night you made him have_ sex_ with you. All in some feeble attempt to get him to fall in love with you." She swallowed, biting back her retort. Jo continued. "Stupid girl. Did you _really think_ he'd fall for a child like you? He's not stupid, he's a genius, actually. He _knows_ when he's being played. When someone _hopes_ that giving him her_ virginity_ can make him hers." She swallowed, and Jo moved to her other side, sitting next to her and reaching out to fuss with the buttons on the student's jacket. For a moment, she seemed to revert back to the caring, older sister figure Zoe remembered, and then she spoke.

"You're just another notch in his belt, Zoe, like all the other women he'd been with before me. A notch, that's all you'll _ever_ be to him. Blame's on you, Zoe. You're the one who feel for his easy charm." She leaned close. "I know him, I know his tricks, I don't put up with the shit he pulls, I don't let him get away with it." She let her dark eyes rake over her face, tracing the tear tracks, the hastily wiped mascara lines. A sneer graced her lovely features. "I've done this before. I know how to handle him;_ I'm_ the _only_ one who can handle him. Besides, you really have nothing in common, what kind of relationship would that be?" Zoe bristled at the childish tone Jo used, and opened her mouth to speak, until Jo leaned forward, pressing her lips to the shell of her ear. "If I were you, I'd go back to Harvard, and _stay_ there. We don't_ want_ you here."

"That's not true." Zoe replied, tears gathering in her eyes, but Jo chuckled softly.

"Oh honey, if only you knew. Little Miss Perfect Harvard Grad-Student, I suggest you take a good look in the mirror when you get home. Then you'll understand what you really are, a-" She stopped, rethinking her words, but the implication was loud and clear to Zoe.

_Slut._

Jo stood at Zane's voice; he stood in the doorway, waiting for her. "Coming, babe?" She and Zoe both looked back at him, Jo gave him a big grin, even as Zoe tried to catch his eye, to no avail. "Allison cleared you for a little... adult recreation, I take it?" She asked. He grinned in response; they'd known the answer since leaving the infirmary. She returned his grin, then climbed to her feet. As she passed by Zoe, she leaned down, whispering, "Joke's on you, Zoe."

"We'll see ya later, Vincent." Zane called.

"Not if I can help it." Jo replied, grinning at the chef. And without a glance back, she took Zane's hand and allowed him to pull her from the cafe.

Zoe left the cafe not long after, making the drive back to the bunker. As she moved down the stairs to the front door, Jo's words rang loud and clear in her head.

_Joke's on you._

She was right. The joke was on her. She'd fallen for Zane, only to have her heart broken, without a word of apology from either party. For the first time in two months, she regretted giving Zane her virginity. He'd taken it and thrown it back in her face before going to Jo and staking his claim on the Head of Security, leaving Zoe alone with the shattered pieces of her broken heart.

She looked up as the door swung closed; Carter was sitting on the sofa, and he climbed to his feet when he saw her. "Thank God! I've been looking for you. Look, Zo, there's something I need to tell you." She swallowed, licking her lips. Meeting her dad's blue eyes, she said,

"Actually, Dad, there's something I need to tell you, too."


End file.
